Itinerarium Maraudentium Or The Roadmap to Love and War
by MissMcGregor
Summary: Theirs is a story told around magical fires and bedsides, one of love, loss, and betrayal. It is a story that created heroes and the worst of villains. It is a story that sparked a war. But do you know the whole thing? How the betrayer was unwilling, young love a war, their loss not only physical? No. So listen, and decide for yourself whether the storytellers told it right.
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

A crescent moon sat sinister and cold in the sky, slanting through gaps in clouds heavy with rain. The time of night was late-or early-and the deepest hush lay across the countryside as beast and man slept. Only the sounds of a dense wind carried through summer leaves disrupted an otherwise impeccable, velvety quiet.

Yet there was one man, a boy truthfully, who noticed the silence of things sleeping and the signs of an oncoming storm. He hadn't slept much at all, in fact, due to the letter sitting in his lap. Tucked away in his room with the door locked, he had no need for light to read the letter. The words written in thick ink, soaked into the heavy parchment, had burned themselves into his mind. They sat there, smoldering and burning, repeating themselves over, and over, and over…

The boy folded the letter and tucked it away, hidden from a mother's prying eyes. If she found this, oh if she found this, he thought, he would be finished, his life ruined. It didn't matter that the events described in the letter would take place even without his unwarranted help. Simply being a part of something so horrible, involuntary or not, would be enough to hang him…or worse.

Thunder rumbled in the distance and the boy in his bed, watching the moon judge him, cried silently. There would be no end to this, he knew, just like the letter said.

_This is the just the beginning, Pettigrew. There is no running_. _I know what you value most dear._

And, unbeknownst to Peter, his correspondent knew him better than he knew himself.

**Authors Note: This is my first fanfiction. Ever. So reviews would be lovely! I intend for this to be a full length story, with many chapters, so reviews would be much, _much _appreciated. Thank you for reading! (Also, I do not own J.K. Rowling's characters)**


	2. Chapter 1: Old Beginnings

I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter of my first ever fanfiction! As always, I do not own these characters or setting. Please feel free to let me know of any mistakes or corrections that need to be made. Reviews are, of course, very welcome. Thank you for reading!

Ash

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**Chapter One:**

_**Old Beginnings**_

Lily Evans had a face that could launch a thousand ships. Her glare could send soldiers to retreat. The way she walked could make kings crumble. Her sharp tongue could slay any man. Her hair, like the deep kiss of autumn, swayed with the motion of her hips. Her lips were as red as a dawn seen from the ocean. When light caught her green eyes they flashed like emeralds. In the shadowy corners of the castle, wrapped up in the arms of a boy, her skin glowed like the full moon.

James Potter hated her, as love can sometimes be misconstrued as hate. He hated her, not because she was beautiful (and admonished his attempt to court her), but because she represented a piece of him that had been misplaced for quite some time. She represented an innocence that had been buried deep behind walls of smoke and ink and harsh words. She represented everything he thought he couldn't be: honest, virtuous, and worthy of love.

It wasn't anyone's fault James turned out this way. Despite a loving family and loyal friends, he found himself drawn to things otherwise dangerous and immoral. A phase it might be, but James Potter was at his best with a cigarette between his teeth and a rule being broken. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were no better. Sirius, in fact, was much rowdier than James, and although Remus was more demure than the rest, the wolf in him was always there. Peter kept them supplied with cigarettes, a new and wonderful discovery, and something he learned to make himself after spending a summer with a distant muggle relative. His friends and their choices certainly didn't warrant proper behavior. Then again, James Potter wasn't very proper to begin with.

At the beginning of their sixth year nothing had changed. He still disliked-but mostly loved- Lily Evans, his friends were as disorderly as ever, and the Hogwarts Express awaited him the minute he dissolved through Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.

Before James glimpsed Remus and Peter standing together amongst the throng of fellow students, he saw Lily. She had her back to him, leaning heavily on her trolley and chatting wildly to her friend, Amelia Bones, who was laughing loudly. The urge to swagger over to Lily and say something snarky to welcome her back overtook him, but before he took a step in her direction someone rammed him in the back with a trunk heavy trolley.

"Oi! Stop goggling and get a move on!" Sirius growled, repeatedly shoving his trolley into James' heels. The handsome sixteen year old was slouched over the metal cart, his black hair tumbling disgracefully into his wicked glare. Pursing his lips, he slammed the trolley once again into James, who turned to his best friend blankly.

"Move, will you?" Sirius said loudly. A few third year girls turned to watch and giggled coquettishly.

"No." James replied blandly.

"What?" Sirius asked, standing up straighter.

"_No." _

"No, _what_?" Sirius hissed, standing as straight as he could. Now a large collection of students were gathered around them, whispering excitedly.

"No you cannot _fondle my balls,_ Sirius Black!" cried James, collecting his jacket around him as though Sirius's gaze pierced through his clothes.

The group surrounding them erupted into laughter and many parents tittered in disgust. Sirius broke into a wild grin, slouching again over his trolley.

"Best start the year of with a scene, eh?" He asked, shooing away the younger students and following James as he began moving towards Remus and Peter. The other two boys heard the confrontation and met James and Sirius with different expressions of amusement. Remus, looking disheveled and exhausted, smirked. Peter grinned wildly, rocking back on his heels with a cigarette between his teeth.

"I bet you ten galleons there'll be rumors tonight." Peter snorted. James and Sirius shrugged, grinning, and shook hands with their friends.

"Alright?" James asked, tousling his jet hair and plucking a cigarette from Peter's chest pocket. He glanced up, trying to find Lily, but she had vanished from sight.

"Yeah, 'suppose." Remus replied tiredly, his voice dark and rough. There was a fresh, jagged cut along his jaw. Peter offered him a cigarette as well, but he held up a hand. "Not this year, I'm afraid. Does horrible things when I…" He made a claw with his hands and gnashed his teeth.

"Yeah me too." Sirius muttered, lighting his cigarette with a match. He flicked it away into the train tracks and inhaled deeply.

"There are two kinds of people." James laughed, igniting his own.

The Hogwarts Express whistled shrilly, interrupting their conversation. All along its magnificent body doors began to open. First years smiled broadly as they said fervent goodbyes to their parents, and the older students jostled onto the train, wanting to nab the best compartments.

The four Marauders took their time and managed to convince two second years to abandon a prime compartment. They filed in, jostling and elbowing each other as boys do, and managed to store their trunks just as the train whistled again in warning for departure.

"How was your summer, boys?" Remus asked, shifting in his seat so Sirius could sprawl next to the window. James kicked up his feet next to Sirius's knees.

"It was fine." Sirius replied coolly. "If being tormented by my mother and Bellatrix as they planned her wedding counts as 'fine'." He smirked, but his eyes were hard. The other three boys knew exactly what Sirius' summer consisted of, and not one of them pressed him for more. "What about you Peter?"

The chubby boy shrugged. "Dull. Went on Holiday to France but it wasn't much fun." And that was that.

"Remus?" James inquired. Remus had one arm caught in his jacket as he squirmed to take it off.

"Oh, er, yeah. Fine. Spent a lot of time roaming, but that's about it. Mum and dad were just happy I survived another year without killing someone." He chuckled weakly. It was his worst fear, that his lycanthropy would one day take over and he would awaken to find a dead body at his feet. Although his friends learned of his secret in their second year and became illegal animagi to accompany him once a month, the summers were hard on him. While he was away there was no one around to keep the beast inside him at bay.

"And you, James?" Remus asked.

James was just about to reply when the compartment door slid open with a bang. Lily and Amelia were hunched over cackling and didn't quite realize whose company they were in until Amelia took a deep breath and finally straightened up.

"Oh." She gasped, still giggling. "Hello boys." Amelia was beautiful in a fairy tale princess sort of way. Her high cheekbones and bright blonde bob accentuated dark blue eyes. She was tall and thin, fit to be a model but much too philosophical, and although her wit was not as sharp as Lily's, her bark was stronger than her bite.

Lily's eyes widened ever so slightly, smile hardening. Her hand rested on the compartment door, long hair swaying with the sudden jerky movement of the train departing from the station. James gave them both a curt nod.

"Hello Bones. Evans."

"Hello." Lily replied, taking in all four of them. Despite her dislike of their arrogant behavior, she held a secret soft spot for the mischievous quartet. "How were your summers?"

"Absolutely horrendous without you by my side." James cooed, cleaning his glasses with the hem of his shirt. His blue eyes were bright as he watched her. "And yours?"

"Positively delightful without you around, thank you for asking." Lily replied sweetly, smile demure.

Amelia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Well!" She rapped her knuckles on the wooden door frame. "Great to see everyone's feeling like themselves! If you do happen to see my sister, point her in our direction, yeah?"

"Of course." Remus said politely. Amelia smiled at him, shot James a quizzical look, and nodded towards the other two boys. Lily didn't say another word, but her gaze lingered over James's figure long enough for him to notice. Amelia leaned across Lily's chest and caught the edge of the compartment door and slid it shut. The boys watched them disappear a moment later.

"When are you going just kiss her already?" Peter asked honestly, sticking his cheek on the glass to follow the receding view of the girls.

"When I get full marks in Divination, that's when." James said dubiously and slid on his glasses. Sirius and Remus snorted.

"So…never?"

"Never, Peter. Never."

At that moment the compartment door slid open once again. This time it was Matilda Bones, sister to Amelia and in the same year although she was a Ravenclaw. Where she and Amelia shared similar looks, Matilda held a rawer beauty. Her blonde hair was cut like a boy's and disheveled, gray eyes sharp and accusing. She outwitted Lily and Amelia, and, at times, the boys themselves. They begrudgingly admired her for her nerve.

"Welcome back wankers." She purred, leaning her shoulder against the doorframe and crossing her worn leather boots. "Looks like you survived another summer without your fingers up each other's bums."

"And you've grown more and more charming, Tilly. Or should I call you Matt now, with that haircut?" Sirius replied, grinning wolfishly. Matilda and Sirius were, at best, nemeses.

"No, it's still Tilly. But I can recommend you to my barber if you'd like. Maybe he can manage that greasy mop on your head. Then it'll be out of your eyes and you can see how properly hideous you are."

"Did it work for you?"

"I was beautiful to begin with, Black." She sighed with false despair. "Alas, there's no hope for you, seeing as your mother is a troll and you have inherited her looks."

At the mention of his mother Sirius's eyes darkened. Tilly noticed his stark transformation and dropped her smirk.

"Sorry Sirius. Mothers should never be brought in to things, but I couldn't let you best me." She gave him an apologetic smile. Sirius nodded, expression still stormy, and turned his attention to the rolling hills beyond the window.

Tilly glanced at Remus, James, and Peter, eyes wide in confusion. Remus shook his head ever so slightly.

"Your sister and Lily were here just a moment ago. They went towards the back." James told her. He always considered Tilly a friend despite never speaking much on a personal basis.

"Thanks. See you around." She glanced once more at Sirius's profile, pursed her lips, and vanished quick as lightning.

As the Hogwarts Express rolled through winding streams and green hills, the boys chatted and chortled about their summertime adventures. Sirius was decidedly less talkative after Tilly's good natured stab, and Remus, Peter, and James did their best to avoid any mention of parental figures.

By the time night fell and Hogsmede Station twinkled on the horizon the four Marauders were starving and tired. Although the beginning of term feast and sorting were spectacular, the traditions Hogwarts put forth were decidedly less thrilling each and every year. James didn't know if this was because he was getting older, or because the stress and knowledge of a new term made the feast less exciting.

The Hogwarts Express rolled into the station slowly, gears hissing and popping, each car rocking with the movement of its passengers rushing to put on robes. The boys jostled in their compartments to dress quickly. James knocked his head on the lamp above the window, Remus accidently poked Sirius in the eye, and Peter's left robe sleeve ripped.

They filed out of their compartment and joined the slow moving flood of students filing outside. James waved at Edgar Bones, Tilly and Amelia's brother and a Head Boy in Ravenclaw who was ushering first years out the car door and onto the platform. Edgar's honey colored head stood above the rest, and he caught James's eye, smiling.

"Welcome back, you dog!" Edgar shook James's hand as he passed.

"No that would be me." Sirius interrupted, punching Edgar softly on the arm. The older boy's smile widened, and he greeted Remus and Peter with equal enthusiasm.

"You haven't happened to see my two sisters, have you?" He asked, suddenly concerned. "I arrived a bit later than them. Spent the last bit of break with Rebecca." Rebecca Wood was Edgar's lovely Hufflepuff girlfriend.

"I'm afraid we have." Sirius grumbled. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "They're back there."

Edgar thanked them, and saying goodbye to their friend the four boys trudged out onto the station platform. Summer had been kind to Hogsmeade. The sky was clear and smelled of honeysuckle and in the distance, beneath star clustered skies, Hogwarts twinkled and glittered, welcoming them home.

"You forget, don't you?" Remus sighed, taking the lead to the invisibly drawn horse carriages lined up a beneath dark trees. Rubeus Hagrid's large rough voice boomed across the heads of all the students, calling his first years to assembly.

"Forget what, Remus?" Peter chirped.

"I mean, you forget how amazing this place is, don't you?" He said, running a scarred hand through his brown hair. "This place is our home. It's our life. I'm always heartsick when I have to leave."

"How sweet." James snorted. But Remus was right of course, and James silently agreed with him. Hogwarts _was_ his home, forever and always. He felt much more comfortable here than with his parents. At least here he could be himself.

Remus nudged James despite his grin. They found an empty carriage ripe with mold and mildew and filed into it. Despite the large interior, each year the inside of the coach seemed to get smaller and smaller. This was of course due to the boy's tenacity for growing two or three inches every summer, and tonight their legs seemed to tangle together in a jumbled mess.

They waited some time before their carriage jolted forward. Peter stared out the window as Remus and Sirius argued what could be pulling the carriages. They did this every year. Sirius simply thought that they were bewitched, but Remus disagreed, his deductions always complex. James pretended to care, but his mind was on tomorrow when classes would start and mayhem would resume. Remembering what happened last year, he hoped this term would be better.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry rose high above the winding stream of carriages. Past the winged boars and up the graveled path leading to the front entrance they drove. Shadowed figures passed high mullioned windows and candles flickered in the utmost top of the Gryffindor towers. Each boy in the carriage anticipated something different. Remus had a heavy knot in his stomach, already awaiting the full moon. Sirius was intent on distracting himself from the horrors of his own history, unsure if he could watch his brother Regulus sit at a table full of his enemies. Peter's heart beat fast, his thoughts tinged and racing with an undetectable fear. And James, lovely, sweet James, hoped that this year he could mend whatever was broken between him and Lily Evans.

With a sharp jolt their carriage came to a sudden halt. The marauders untangled themselves from one another and spilled out of the stifling coach. Greeting old acquaintances and sneering at enemies, the older students trudged up and through the large wooden doors of Hogwarts. The entrance hall greeted them with a warm light and the smell of old stone. They filed in through the Great Hall doors and were welcomed with the sight of their professors and a thousand floating candles. The bewitched ceiling overhead revealed an impeccable sky.

The four boys sat at their House table and watched as the other tables began to fill. Around them their fellow Gryffindor's sat themselves, waving and greeting them, exclaiming their keenness for a new year's worth of mischief.

"What'll we be gossiping about this year, boys?" Gideon Prewett, a handsome blonde boy with a rather large nose sat next to James.

"Well it wouldn't be much fun if we told you now would it, Giddy?" Sirius tittered, waving a finger at Gideon. The Gryffindor beater smiled warmly before his brown eyes narrowed.

"Where's Pettigrew? He wouldn't miss the start of term feast, would he?"

Remus, James, and Sirius looked at the empty spot where Pettigrew normally sat. Sirius's right elbow, to which Peter normally hung, was vacant. Remus gave James an alarmed look. Peter never went anywhere alone, much less on the first feast of the year. James, suspicious that Wolfrik Dolohov and his Slytherin cronies were involved, began to stand and search for him when the Great Hall doors opened. Professor McGonagall swept into the Hall like a prowling cat, blue eyes burning holes into the Sorting Hat, her large velvet witches hat bobbing in time to her sharp step.

James sat down and gave Remus and Sirius a hard look. "Do you have the map?" He whispered to Remus, who had become the Marauder's Map sole guardian. Remus shook his head.

"No. It's in the false bottom of my trunk." He hissed, eyes roaming the shuffling group of first years. Despite Peter's habit of giving unwarranted opinions and hanging off the three other boys, he was their friend. His absence was extremely uncharacteristic, and James, Sirius, and Remus were worried.

McGonagall reached the stool, turned to the students, and began to explain to the purpose of the Sorting Hat, which sang its song soon after. James bobbed his knee, clicking his teeth together and scanning the Slytherin table. An empty seat, next to the glacially cruel Wolfrik Dolohov, caught his eye.

"Oi. Dolohov's at the table, but guess who's missing?" James muttered to Remus, who immediately cast his green gaze over the Slytherins. His brow furrowed.

"Snape."

Sirius sat upright at the discovery.

At that moment the Great Hall doors opened once again, this time much quieter. Professor McGonagall, annoyed, looked up and opened her mouth to protest until her eyebrows shot up in surprise. The entire hall turned in their seats to catch a glimpse of the intruder.

And, as if the devil himself had summoned him just for the three boy's unnecessary allegations, Severus Snape limped into the Great Hall, his black eyes set to kill.


	3. Chapter 2: A Disturbance

Thank you for your interest in continuing the story! As always, I do not own this setting or characters. Reviews make me want to write more, so please..._review me_!

Ash

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**Chapter Two**

_**A Disturbance**_

The hall erupted into a frenzy of harsh whispers. Remus looked stern and remained very still. Sirius's back was ramrod straight, eyes pinioned onto Severus's appearance like a wolf's ears at the faintest noise of prey. James was poker faced, hazel eyes deceptively blank.

Lily's expression was also devoid of emotion, but inside her chest a heavy heart beat rapidly. Despite their falling out last year, she never wanted her once best friend to be harmed, and seeing him so bloody and bruised made her stomach churn. Amelia rested her hand on Lily's knee under the table, knowing well that the red-head was at war with herself.

Severus Snape stood in the doorway of the hall, his dark eyes viciously accusing everyone seated. Or more accurately one eye, as his left eyelid was swollen shut and as purple as a plum. His sallow, bland face was contorted into a sneer. There was a horribly deep gash oozing clotting blood across his forehead, and his lip was split so badly that they could almost see his bottom teeth.

He was breathing heavily and the robes he wore, faded and too short, were covered in dirt. His hands, one of them holding his left elbow, were shaking. His wand was nowhere to be seen.

Severus gave the crowd another scathing glance and began walking slowly to the Slytherin table. Professor McGonagall, concerned despite her dislike for the boy, took a step to try and aid him. But Wolfrik Dolohov, Slytherin's Head Boy, stood and walked crisply to help Severus inch his way to their table

He collapsed onto the bench, hunched over his plate so his long black hair hid most of the injuries. Wolfrik smiled venomously at Professor McGonagall and took his place next to Severus.

With a loud clearing of her throat, Professor McGonagall held up a roll of parchment and continued her announcements of first years.

"Anabella Nott!"

While most of the students had gone back to watching Anabella strut up to the hat, Lily's eyes were transfixed upon Severus.

"Lily, he'll be alright." Amelia whispered gently.

"I know, but why didn't he go to Madam Pomfrey?" Lily muttered. She was perplexed. It wasn't like Severus to show off, much less admit to injury. Suddenly he appears, wounded and wandless, and allows the whole school to see him hurt? Something was off and she could feel it in her bones.

Severus, however, did not notice Lily's concerned, green gaze. He also didn't allow Professor McGonagall a sign that he was alright. Instead his one unscathed black eye, filled with rage and hate, was set on James Potter. The handsome young man, so unlike Severus, met his adversary's look with hardened resilience. His glasses gleamed in the candlelight.

Lily noticed this standoff and felt her racing heart sink to her knees. Was James to blame? And if so, was Peter the scapegoat of a mad scheme to put Severus in his place, to set the boundaries for the beginning of the year? It was the only obvious explanation, seeing as Peter never missed a meal.

"Amelia…" Lily finally said, clapping obligatorily as the last of the first years was sorted. "I think James had something to do with this."

Amelia whipped her head to stare at Lily, lips pursed and eyes hard. "No." she said harshly. Lily pulled away in surprise at her friend's sudden animosity. "He wouldn't do something like that, not that he wouldn't love an opportunity to sock Severus in the jaw. But James is no coward Lils, you know that. If he were going to have a go at Sev he would want an audience. Plus, they were ahead of us the whole way up to the castle." The blonde girl shook her head, bob swishing. "You always assume the worst from him."

Lily shook her head. "But where is Peter? He's always with the three boys…why isn't he here now, right as Sev walks in looking like a troll took a hammer to his face!" she pleaded. "And besides, you know I have plenty of reasons to tack James as the perpetrator." But at her friend's honest words, a sliver of guilt had wormed its way into Lily's mind.

A loud hush suddenly permeated the air, and the two girls turned to watch Albus Dumbledore rise from his chair.

"To our returning students, welcome back." He began, his voice soothing and full of warmth. "I would hope that you know my name by now, but for the sake of our first years I shall introduce myself. I am Albus Dumbledore, your headmaster. I am delighted to see so many new and eager faces here at Hogwarts.

As you have now been sorted into your houses, you will come to understand that they are, henceforth, your family. Even so," he paused, raising a finger in seriousness, "the other houses are equally worthy of admiration and friendship, and I hope that this year Hogwarts sees new progress in the coalition of all four houses."

Although he didn't linger long, James, Lily, and Severus felt Dumbledore's scrutiny particularly strong.

"These are troublesome times we are witnessing, my dear students. It is up to you, the future of our wizarding community, to decide whether or not the forthcoming moments in our history will be filled with heroes, or enemies of goodness and joy. I hope you choose wisely." He let the gravity of his words sink in.

"Now, on a simpler note," he clapped his hands together. "Tuck in."

The hall erupted into laughter, chatter, and tables creaking under the sudden appearance of delicious food. But the mood of the students had darkened, their minds suddenly dwelling on the news of missing wizards and witches, reanimated bodies, and of skulls and snakes glittering maliciously in the sky.

Lily and Amelia felt the attitude in the hall shift and decided wordlessly to drop their previous discussion. Lily kept her eyes off of Severus and James and instead let them roam, unfocused. She hardly ate at all.

The feast ended shortly after pudding and dessert, and Dumbledore wished them all the best of luck. Lily rose with Amelia and they followed their fellow Gryffindors out of the Hall. The two girls, silent, had only just reached the Grand Staircase when Lily heard her name. She spun around, standing on her toes to see who called, hoping selfishly that it was Severus.

Tilly was shoving her way toward Lily and Amelia, cursing viciously under her breath. Her furious expression made Lily giggle, and Amelia heaved a great sigh at her sister's recklessness.

"For fucks sake," she huffed, "People are absolute bastards here, aren't they." A first year, recognizable by the lost, amazed expression on his face, bumped into Tilly, who butted into Lily. The feisty blonde snapped at the poor boy and sent him sniveling up the stairs.

"Honestly Tilly," Lily reprimanded, following slowly in the boys wake. "You ought to be nicer to people, or they'll think you're an evil hag. Oh wait! You already are."

Amelia chortled and gave Lily a high five.

Tilly ignored the two girls and waved her hands about her head. "That's not the problem. What the hell was Severus doing walking in like he'd risen from the grave?" She hissed. Despite Ravenclaw's dorm room being in the opposite direction Amelia and Lily were walking, Tilly continued to follow.

Lily shook her head, suddenly distracted by James's shock of black hair bobbing up a shifting staircase.

"I have no idea." She replied. "But I'm going to ask Potter if he has anything to do with it."

Tilly's expression of disbelief matched her sibling's. "Lily…you don't honestly think-"

"Will you both give me a break? Good lord you must share thoughts!" Lily snapped, rounding on the sisters. "Look I know he would never do something that horrendous. But I'm going to ask anyway. Is that fair? Is that okay with you?"

"Oi, Lils, keep your voice down, you're like a fucking banshee I swear."

It was Marlene McKinnon who had interrupted them, a fellow Gryffindor and best friend. She managed to jump the bottom foot of the staircase before it grumbled into motion. Marlene, average and eccentric, leaned against the marble banister and surveyed the other girls. Her dark blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a frizzy bun.

Lily had never been so relieved to see anyone. Marlene shared Lily's humor and always had a way of making her feel better.

"Where the hell were you?" Lily asked, her anger still bubbling at the surface. Marlene hugged Amelia and Tilly simultaneously.

"Tilly, shouldn't you be going thataway?" Marlene asked quizzically and ignoring Lily, who scowled.

"Yeah, probably." Tilly replied halfheartedly as the staircase shuddered into its new place. When they reached the next corridor she grabbed Lily's arm and jerked her to the side. The other girls, realizing their friends had vanished, backtracked to the niche where they stood.

"Look," Tilly said quickly. "Whatever you find out let me know, alright? I've got to get back to the dorm or Edgar is going to have my neck."

Lily tried to speak but Tilly clamped her whole hand around the other girl's mouth.

"Listen to me for once," she said, expression stern. "I understand you're worried, but promise us you won't go bouncing off the walls demanding that when anything bad happens it's Potter's fault. We know you have feelings for him-"

Lily, filled with sudden indignation, narrowed her eyes and began yelling. All that the three girls heard was a fast stream of muffled, useless badgering.

"But we won't stand for you ruining a good thing this year." Tilly continued. Her blue eyes were firm and unforgiving. Marlene and Amelia nodded in assent.

Tilly removed her hand from Lily's mouth and stood back. "I've got to go. Love you all." She kissed them sweetly on the cheek and began weaving her way back down the moving staircases.

Lily rounded on Marlene and Amelia. "Will you all stop treating me like I'm a fragile bird in love that will fall apart?" She snapped and curled her hands into fists, truly and horribly angry. Why, she thought furiously, did everyone think she was some sort of mental patient so sick in love-which she wasn't-that she could barely walk straight!

"We aren't Lily, but how do you expect us to behave when we had to deal with you last year?" Marlene said quietly.

That shut Lily up. Unbidden, the guilt of blaming James and of her actions last year overcame her. She sighed deeply, shoulders hunching in momentary defeat. She was so very tired and wished silently that she could undo all that had happened in the past twelve months.

"I'm sorry." Lily muttered, holding out her hand to Amelia. "You're all right." Sometimes it was best to admit defeat and let someone else take the reins.

She let Amelia pull her along towards the Fat Lady.

"You should still ask James." Amelia concurred, glancing at Marlene for approval. "Just-"

"Don't go berserk. He's in love with you, the poor lad." Marlene cut in.

The trio reached the Fat Lady, who was thoroughly haughty and sporting a red dress.

"_Pass_word," She trilled, looking down her nose at them.

"Bollocks!" Marlene ranted, stomping her foot. They had forgotten to retrieve the password to gain entrance into the Gryffindor common room.

"Unfortunately, you are incorrect." The Fat Lady chided.

"It's Babbity Rabbity."

The three girls turned to find Dorcas Meadowes walking towards them. She was a waif of a girl, yet the brightest witch in their class, notorious for her temper and wicked dueling. Lily, Amelia, and Marlene, although not very close with Dorcas, considered her a dear friend, and they asked how her summer was while walking together through the newly opened portrait hole.

Gryffindor common room welcomed the quartet with a roaring fire and cushy arm chairs. Frank Longbottom and Alice Adair, Head Boy and Girl, were instructing the small group of first years on the Gryffindor dorms. Almost the rest of the house had dispersed to their rooms, but James, Remus, Severus, and Gideon were sprawled on the armchairs and sofas by the fire. All four boys turned at the appearance of the four girls, and against her will Lily felt herself flush.

She had to ask him, Lily knew. It was imperative to her. Although she would likely never be friends with Severus again, she still cared for his wellbeing. If she found out that James Potter, the boy who made her question her sanity, had hurt him, she would find a way to make him pay.

Lily walked up behind the sofa where Remus and Lupin sat. They looked up at her as she leaned over, hair falling in a curtain around her oval face. In the light from the fire her eyes glowed ethereally.

"Can I talk to you, Potter?" She asked, trying her best to keep her voice casual. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sirius and Remus turn slowly to James. He sat with his legs slung over the side of a red armchair. Half of his face was turned away from the fire and hidden in shadow, but the rest of his expression was clear. His blue eyes held hers with an electric ferocity.

"Wish I had someone look at me like that." Muttered Marlene. Both Sirius and Amelia snickered.

"Of course Evans. Anything for you." James replied after a moment of consideration. "Would you like to chat on my lap? Or maybe in my dorm room?"

"In the corner will work perfectly, although your offers are tempting." Lily smiled, ignoring the fact they that were indeed _very _tempting. James shrugged and swung his legs off the chair, following Lily to the farthest corner of the room. She watched Amelia and Marlene settle in with the boys, chatting amiably. Dorcas and the first year had vanished up their intended staircases. She never was one for small talk.

They stood close together so they couldn't be overheard, but it was apparent that they were thinking identical thoughts. Both took half a step back, creating as much space between them as possible. James shoved his hands inside his pockets and waited for her to speak.

Lily, suddenly aware of just how tall he had grown over the summer and how defined his jawline had become, cleared her throat. "I don't want you to think I'm accusing you, Potter." She began. "But I have to know for the sake of my morality."

James didn't say a word. She pressed on, nails biting into her palm. "I know quite a lot happened last year, and neither of us handled it well. I'm not condoning what he did, or what I did, but I just need-"

"I didn't hurt him, Evans." James interrupted. His voice was low, and his handsome face suddenly appeared much older. Lily realized with a jolt just how tired and worn he looked, and wondered what happened to cause this transformation. It bothered her that she cared so much.

"I didn't say you did, I simply-"

"Evans." His voice was sharp. "As much as I dislike him, whoever did this to Sniv…Snape, had much more than a simple grudge riding on his or her back. I was just as shocked as you were when he walked through that door." He sighed and ran a hand through his untidy hair. "I don't have an answer for you."

Lily crossed her arms and bit her lip, a nasty habit. She looked in the direction of the chatting group and was suddenly thankful they were all relatively good friends. Loneliness, Lily knew, was the worst torture of all.

"What about Peter? Do you think he might've done it?" She asked. James shook his head.

"We don't know where he vanished to, but I wouldn't be worried. Peter isn't the smartest, but he's not dumb either. He wouldn't try and take on Snape without us there." At Lily's expression he held up his hands and smiled, weariness gone. "Not that I would hurt him like that."

"Alright…" Lily said, uncrossing her arms. She was still perplexed and worried, unsure how to approaching secretly helping Severus. If she could find out who hurt him, she could report them. Or, she thought, exact justice on her own.

James studied her silently, and unexpectedly raised his hand, as if he were about to caress her cheek. Lily froze, heart suddenly skipping too many beats, and watched his expression flicker between sadness and regret.

The moment, thick with unspoken fears, shattered when the portrait door opened. Peter stumbled through the entrance, red faced and breathing hard.

"Good lord!" He heaved. "I had to go run and find McGonagall to get the password. Who the hell choose Babbity Rabbity? Are they unaware that we aren't five year old gits anymore?"

He stopped in the middle of the room, noticing the heavy silence. Sirius twisted in his seat to stare at Peter's sweaty form and Lily's teeth were set on edge.

"Where were you at the feast, Peter?" Remus asked quietly, doing his best to hide the doubt in his voice and expression.

Peter looked around, brow furrowed in confusion. "Did you not hear me when we got to the Entrance Hall? I dropped my wand somewhere between the carriage and the train station and had to go all the way back to Hogsmeade. I told you three." He motioned to Sirius, Remus, and James, who looked at one another.

"I don't remember you saying anything." James said, silently relived that Peter had a believable alibi. "We sat down at the table and you weren't there."

Peter, now upset at his friend's accusatory expressions, shook his head. "Then you _didn't _hear me. You know how long of a walk it is. I didn't even have a light! It took me a while to get there and back."

"Did you find it?" Sirius asked, almost amused. Peter nodded.

"Why does everyone look so grim?"

"Severus was attacked tonight, Peter, and we thought you might've done it." Lily replied honestly. She had taken a step away from James and crossed her arms once again.

Peter's faced darkened, and he shoved his hands deep inside his pockets. "No that can't be true." He said firmly, meeting everyone's eye. "I saw him with Dolohov, Fenwick, and Rosier when we got out of the carriages." The room glanced at one another in turn.

"So how did he get to be such a mess," mused Gideon, "and who did it?"

"Well," came a dark, gravelly voice from the portrait hole. Everyone turned.

"That would be me."


End file.
